I Dreamed In The Cities At Night
LAMENT
Here now along the long deep water
that I thought that I thought that you always
that you always
here now along the long deep water
where behind the rushes behind the rushes the sun
that I thought that you always but always
that always your eyes your eyes and the breeze
your eyes and the breeze
always ruffling ruffling the water
that always in a trembling silence
that I would always live in a trembling silence
that you always those waving rushes always
along the long deep water that your skin would always
that always in the afternoon your skin
always in the summer in the afternoon your skin
that always your eyes would melt
that your eyes would always melt in happiness
always in the motionless afternoon
along the long deep water that I thought
that I thought you would always
that I thought that happiness would always
that always the light motionless in the afternoon
that always the afternoon light your ochre-coloured shoulder
your ochre-coloured shoulder always in the afternoon light
that always your cry hanging
always your bird’s cry hanging
in the afternoon in the summer in the breeze
that always the breeze trembling that always but
always the ruffled water the afternoon your skin
I thought that everything would always I did not think that ever
here now along the long deep water that ever
I thought that always that never that you would never
that frost would never that no ice would ever the water
————————————————
JANUARY 1943
for Joekie Broedelet
I was walking along the cart track
on a sparkling winter day
my mother came to meet me
a figure in the distance
the night before I’d had a dream
I’d been sailing my little boat
my hand skimmed the duckweed
in the gleaming waterway
the boat sailed to the other side
and stranded in the rushes there
when I looked up I saw my father
thrusting his arm through barbed wire
he gazed at me with pleading eyes
my father asking me for bread.
***
On that country road mother
you held me tight for ages
your eyes were red
your jacket smelled of city
the Germans had posted us a card
informing us that he had died
in Neuengamme bitter word
they’d murdered him.
***
I felt nothing then but knew
there was something I should feel
I looked past my mother’s sleeve
towards the deep enticing wood
when I got the chance I told her all
about the things that interested me
the trap I’d set
at the entrance to the rabbit warren
the hut that I was building
in a tree I alone knew
only later did I feel a pain
pain that never went away
that still floods through my body
as I write this
long ago and yet so near
time lasts a lifetime long.
